Here's a new goody for Halloween, and links to last year's posts.
Top ten signs that’s you’re too old to Trick or Treat:
10. You get winded from knocking on the door.
9. You have to have another kid chew the candy for you.
8. You ask for high fiber candy only.
7. When someone drops a candy bar in your bag, you lose your balance and fall over.
6. People say: "Great Boris Karloff Mask," and you're not wearing a mask.
5. When the door opens you yell, "Trick or ...." and can't remember the rest.
4. By the end of the night, you have a bag full of restraining orders.
3. You have to carefully choose a costume that won't dislodge your hairpiece.
2. You're the only Power Ranger in the neighborhood with a walker.
And the number one sign that you’re too old to go Trick Or Treating...
1. You keep having to go home to pee.
Last Year’s Halloween posts …
Merry Thanksgiveoween
http://eroticpen.blogspot.com/2007/12/merry-thanksgivoween.html
A Flasher I wrote called Trick or Treat
http://eroticpen.blogspot.com/2007/10/trick-or-treat.html
Joke: Trick-or-Treating by your sign
http://eroticpen.blogspot.com/2007/11/trick-or-treating-by-your-sign.html
A Naughty Jack-O-Bum (er Lantern LOL)
http://eroticpen.blogspot.com/2007/10/happy-halloween.html
Top Ten Reasons Why Trick-Or-Treating Is Better Than Sex
Top Ten Things That Sound Dirty On Halloween, But Aren’t
http://eroticpen.blogspot.com/2007/10/top-ten-reasons-why-trick-or-treating.html
Zombie Survival Quiz
http://eroticpen.blogspot.com/2007/10/zombie-survival-quiz.html
Halloween Lingo
http://eroticpen.blogspot.com/2007/10/halloween-lingo.html
Halloween Horoscope
http://eroticpen.blogspot.com/2007/10/halloween-horoscope-for-sagittarius.html
Could You Be A Vampire Quiz
http://eroticpen.blogspot.com/2007/10/could-you-be-vampire-quiz.html
Showing posts with label Halloween. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Halloween. Show all posts
Friday, October 31, 2008
Monday, October 27, 2008
Vampire You are charming, sensual, and even a bit manipulative.
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Friday, November 02, 2007
Trick-or-Treating by your sign ...
It may be a few days late, but here's another Halloween joke. LOL
Trick-or-Treating by your sign...
Aries: pushes the others aside to get to the door first.
Taurus: will only eat the finest of Swiss chocolates.
Gemini: goes around the neighborhood once, changes costumes and goes around again.
Cancer: stays at home and gives candy to the other trick-or-treaters.
Leo: plans their costume for months, then won't go out because someone else had the same idea.
Virgo: wears a neatly-pressed suit and tells everyone they're a bookkeeper.
Libra: is still standing in front of the closet trying to decide on a costume.
Scorpio: isn't in it for the candy.
(this definitly fits my kid - it's ALL about the costume, not the candy)
Sagittarius: will manage to wander to the next town.
(LOL - yeah, this is SO me)
Capricorn: makes a list of all the houses that give good candy and the optimal route to take.
(LOL I was supposed to have been a Capricorn - was a way early birth - so it fits that this one fits me too)
Aquarius: builds their costume out of spare flashlights and spends all night tinkering when it shorts.
Pisces: skips the whole thing to compose poetry to the Moon.
Aries: pushes the others aside to get to the door first.
Taurus: will only eat the finest of Swiss chocolates.
Gemini: goes around the neighborhood once, changes costumes and goes around again.
Cancer: stays at home and gives candy to the other trick-or-treaters.
Leo: plans their costume for months, then won't go out because someone else had the same idea.
Virgo: wears a neatly-pressed suit and tells everyone they're a bookkeeper.
Libra: is still standing in front of the closet trying to decide on a costume.
Scorpio: isn't in it for the candy.
(this definitly fits my kid - it's ALL about the costume, not the candy)
Sagittarius: will manage to wander to the next town.
(LOL - yeah, this is SO me)
Capricorn: makes a list of all the houses that give good candy and the optimal route to take.
(LOL I was supposed to have been a Capricorn - was a way early birth - so it fits that this one fits me too)
Aquarius: builds their costume out of spare flashlights and spends all night tinkering when it shorts.
Pisces: skips the whole thing to compose poetry to the Moon.
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
Trick or Treat
Since it's Halloween, I wanted to share a flash fiction (100 words or less) story that I wrote a few years back.
WARNING: Adult (graphic language) content.
Feel free to drop me an email and let me know what you think. I'd love to hear from you.
Michelle
WARNING: Adult (graphic language) content.
Feel free to drop me an email and let me know what you think. I'd love to hear from you.
Michelle
Halloween Top 10's
TOP TEN REASONS WHY TRICK OR TREATING IS BETTER THAN SEX
10) You are guaranteed to get at least a little something in the sack.
9) If you get tired, you can wait 10 minutes and go at it again.
8) The uglier you look, the easier it is to get some.
7) You don't have to compliment the person who gives you some.
6) It's O.K. when the person you're with fantasizes you're someone else, because you are.
5) Forty years from now you'll still enjoy candy.
4) If you don't like what you get, you can always go next door.
3) It doesn't matter if the kids hear you moaning and groaning.
2) Less guilt the morning after.
1) YOU CAN DO THE WHOLE NEIGHBORHOOD.
10 THINGS THAT SOUND DIRTY ON HALLOWEEN, BUT AREN'T
1) So... What did you get in the sack?
2) Once you get under the sheet, start moaning and groaning!
3) Just hop on that broomstick and ride it!
4) Those small suckers are gone in a few licks.
5) I got the best piece from that house.
6) Quit screwing around on the porch!
7) Stick your hand in and guess what you're feeling.
8) It was so filled and heavy, I had to use two hands.
9) They'll suck you dry if they get their teeth in you.
10) I bobbed but couldn't get my mouth around it.
10) You are guaranteed to get at least a little something in the sack.
9) If you get tired, you can wait 10 minutes and go at it again.
8) The uglier you look, the easier it is to get some.
7) You don't have to compliment the person who gives you some.
6) It's O.K. when the person you're with fantasizes you're someone else, because you are.
5) Forty years from now you'll still enjoy candy.
4) If you don't like what you get, you can always go next door.
3) It doesn't matter if the kids hear you moaning and groaning.
2) Less guilt the morning after.
1) YOU CAN DO THE WHOLE NEIGHBORHOOD.
* * *
10 THINGS THAT SOUND DIRTY ON HALLOWEEN, BUT AREN'T
1) So... What did you get in the sack?
2) Once you get under the sheet, start moaning and groaning!
3) Just hop on that broomstick and ride it!
4) Those small suckers are gone in a few licks.
5) I got the best piece from that house.
6) Quit screwing around on the porch!
7) Stick your hand in and guess what you're feeling.
8) It was so filled and heavy, I had to use two hands.
9) They'll suck you dry if they get their teeth in you.
10) I bobbed but couldn't get my mouth around it.
Zombie Survival Quiz
You have a 81% chance of surviving a zombie outbreak
You will probably end up killing a few zombies and saving some innocent people, but you would die just before it was over
Zombie Survival Test
Quiz Created on GoToQuiz
Monday, October 29, 2007
Halloween Lingo
Make sure you know the lingo this Halloween:
Bobbing Apples: What happens when you jog without a bra.
Boogieman: The guy who passes time at a stoplight picking his nose.
Coffin: What you do when you get a piece of popcorn stuck in your throat.
Frankenstein: Hot dog and a mug of beer.
Full Moon: What your repairman reveals when he bends over to fix your fridge.
Goblin: How you eat the snickers bars you got for Halloween.
Invisible Man: What a guy becomes when there's housework to be done. Also, see "Mr. Hyde."
Jack O' Lantern: An Irish Pumpkin.
Jack the Ripper: What Jack does to his lottery tickets after losing each week.
Mummy: The person who kisses the boo-boo after you scrape your knee.
Pumpkin Patch: What a pumpkin wears when trying to quit smoking.
Skeleton: Any supermodel.
Vampire Bat: What Dracula hits a baseball with.
Witch: See "Mother-in-Law."
Zombie: What you look like before that first cup of morning coffee.
Bobbing Apples: What happens when you jog without a bra.
Boogieman: The guy who passes time at a stoplight picking his nose.
Coffin: What you do when you get a piece of popcorn stuck in your throat.
Frankenstein: Hot dog and a mug of beer.
Full Moon: What your repairman reveals when he bends over to fix your fridge.
Goblin: How you eat the snickers bars you got for Halloween.
Invisible Man: What a guy becomes when there's housework to be done. Also, see "Mr. Hyde."
Jack O' Lantern: An Irish Pumpkin.
Jack the Ripper: What Jack does to his lottery tickets after losing each week.
Mummy: The person who kisses the boo-boo after you scrape your knee.
Pumpkin Patch: What a pumpkin wears when trying to quit smoking.
Skeleton: Any supermodel.
Vampire Bat: What Dracula hits a baseball with.
Witch: See "Mother-in-Law."
Zombie: What you look like before that first cup of morning coffee.
Sunday, October 28, 2007
Halloween Horoscope for Sagittarius
| Halloween Horoscope for Sagittarius |
You love to tempt people into evil, even if it's just for one night.
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