10) You are guaranteed to get at least a little something in the sack.
9) If you get tired, you can wait 10 minutes and go at it again.
8) The uglier you look, the easier it is to get some.
7) You don't have to compliment the person who gives you some.
6) It's O.K. when the person you're with fantasizes you're someone else, because you are.
5) Forty years from now you'll still enjoy candy.
4) If you don't like what you get, you can always go next door.
3) It doesn't matter if the kids hear you moaning and groaning.
2) Less guilt the morning after.
1) YOU CAN DO THE WHOLE NEIGHBORHOOD.
* * *
10 THINGS THAT SOUND DIRTY ON HALLOWEEN, BUT AREN'T
1) So... What did you get in the sack?
2) Once you get under the sheet, start moaning and groaning!
3) Just hop on that broomstick and ride it!
4) Those small suckers are gone in a few licks.
5) I got the best piece from that house.
6) Quit screwing around on the porch!
7) Stick your hand in and guess what you're feeling.
8) It was so filled and heavy, I had to use two hands.
9) They'll suck you dry if they get their teeth in you.
10) I bobbed but couldn't get my mouth around it.