10. Did you get any under the tree?
9. I think your balls are hanging too low.
8. Check out Rudolph's Honker!
7. Santa's sack is really bulging.
6. To get it to stand up straight, try propping it against the wall.
5. Did you get a piece of the fruitcake?
4. I love licking the end till it's really sharp and pointy.
3. From here you can't tell if they're artificial or real.
2. Can I interest you in some dark meat?
And the number 1 thing that sounds dirty at Christmas, but isn't ...
1. Lift up the skirt so I can get a clean breath.