10. "We're *open* on Tuesdays?!?"
9. "It took this long to get the ol' blood alcohol level down to the legal driving limit."
8. "I had to take extra time this morning to wrestle with overwhelming aggressive impulses by reassuring myself that nothing would happen today that would push me over the edge."
7. "My proctologist got stuck."
6. "I'm late because I was on the phone trying to get *your* shipping department to send the company's office supplies directly to the winner of my eBay auction."
5. "Sorry, sir. I overslept and dreamt I had a dead-end job, a windowless office and a humorless baboon for a boss."
4. "Heidi Klum refused to untie me."
3. "I'm sorry, boss, but I had to stop to get you -- uh -- this box of ten donuts."
2. "It took me a little longer than normal to hide my disdain this morning... Sir."
and the Number 1 Worst Excuse for Being Late for Work...
1. "My dog ate my presentation, sir. And by 'my dog' I mean your wife, and by 'ate my presentation' I mean 'was boinking me'."
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LOL Number 8 is my favorite. : ) Followed by Number 2.